Preying on False Idols

I created this blog space because I wanted to something a little more this year than my typical myspace blog. Last year, I developed a small following with my American Idol blog, and while I will try to do some Idol blogs on this site, I hope to expand to many other topics involving not just TV, but all popular culture. That said, my goal in life is to design t-shirts (Shameless Plug) and be a TV critic. So here goes....

That said, the first order of business is, of course, the most popular show in the last decade: Idol.

If you are reading this, forward it to people, b/c if I'm doing this, I want as many people as possible to read it. Thanks!

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Fox is raking in the cash once again from its number one show. Sorry 24 fans, but this baby is a cash cow the likes that Jack has never seen.

I am concerned that Fox is on autopilot with the show right now, and I've noticed several things in the first few episodes that really should concern the brass at the nation's tawdriest network.

First, they are getting too obvious with their selections to Hollywood, and even have gone so far as to NOT show 10 of the 14 people from a city who were good enough to get a ticket. They, instead, load up 100 minutes with their nightly freak show, because making fun of freaks drives ratings in these early episodes.

Fox also does a decent job of editing the auditions together, making them look "live" from the time the contestant enters until he or she exits. Then at the end of the episode, they do a "freak show" montage with their song of the day. Obviously, they take the time out of some part of the audition to make them do that song. It's either that, or they ask them to come back after making them cry, just to humiliate them again. And don't think most of the judges reactions are to the actual contestant at the time. Those responses are so canned, they may even be from a previous season. The show has become so overproduced, in an effort to tell a story making fun of as many freaks as possible.

Don't get me wrong, I think most of them are hilarious. My favorite from Seattle was the woman whose husband didn't support her, but she thought he was just going to miss her. Uh, not exactly lady. He just realized that you're terrible. I told my wife that if she ever did that, I'd divorce her. To which she replied, "you embarass us on national TV all the time." I couldn't argue with that.

Fox is on a slippery slope with this, however. My wife, who is a doctor of one of the soft sciences, mentioned by watching two minutes of footage that the 27 year old guy (forget the name) who had the really wide open eyes and sang Unchained Melody - pretty much the guy they centered the entire Seattle episode around - most likely has Asperger Syndrome. If you don't believe her, read this description of the syndrome.

Asperger Syndrome or (Asperger's Disorder) is a neurobiological disorder named for a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, who in 1944 published a paper which described a pattern of behaviors in several young boys who had normal intelligence and language development, but who also exhibited autistic-like behaviors and marked deficiencies in social and communication skills.

Now I've never applied to be on the show, so I'm not sure exactly what they ask on the fact checking questionnaire, but I'm pretty certain they don't do Psych profiles on all 10,000 applicants in each city. More than likely, Fox was making fun of a young man with a pretty serious disorder - and they duped America to come along for the ride.

The other thing it's evident Fox doesn't check for is narcotics in each contestant's system. I don't know if it's just Seattle, or the other cities will have them as well, but there were enough meth heads that made TV to never make me want to visit the Emerald City. I know that they've had a lot of trash on the show over the years, but there were people who were actively on drugs during their auditions. You can see it in their faces too. They've been mess up on meth. I don't know how to describe it, but look at the bizzaro Taylor Hicks's face, and you know he's hooked on junk. Half his lip hangs down, his teeth are sideways, he has bags under his bags under his eyes. But, he was crazy, he was out of control (like when he tried to touch Simon), so let's get him on during the prime ratings slot of the show, go to his job, and, of course, promote him on our commercials.

Not to be outdone, Red - the last contestant - was clearly using something too. It's like these guys say, 'let's huff some glue, go wait in line for two days, huff a little more, and get on TV.' And Fox bites. So do we.

Look, there are four types of people who audition for this show. First, the mediocre, no talent, no personality people who don't get on TV because they can't get past the cross checkers There are about 90% of those people in every city. Next are the people who actually go to try and win. Most of them can sing a little, some very well. But in a city with 10,000 applicants, just over 1/10th of one percent of them get to Hollywood. Your odds are better of getting hit by a car on the way to the audition than they are of even getting to Hollywood, let alone in the finals.

Next are the dillusional people who have absolutely no shot of ever getting famous, so they go on this show because someone in their lives told them it was a good idea. Those people get on TV just to be made fun of. And their presence on the show entices Joe and Jane Fan at home to say, "hell, I'm better than them. I should try out next year." The cycle may never end.

Last are the people who just go to get on TV. They dress up, they act crazy, they do anything to get on TV. For a few years, Fox wasn't putting them on as much, but it seems that more and more, they don't care if the contestant is in on the joke, as long as 37 million of us are watching the punchline.

Makes you wonder who the joke is really on.